The Love of a Friend
by Tesora
Summary: Prumano AU. Lovino has been diagnosed with leukemia, and has been given 3 months before the cancer takes his life. Unable to find anything to live for, can a happy-go-lucky Prussian help him make the most of his last few months?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: SO UH.. I'm trying to get back into writing, since I stopped writing poetry, and I need to push all my frustration into SOMETHING or else I'll probably do something most of my friends will hate me for.**  
><strong>Anyway, I'm thinking this will have about 10-15 chapters since I'm crap at writing long stories and keeping up with the plot...<strong>  
><strong>Hope you enjoy~<strong>

-  
>He stared, unable to focus on what was being said to him. Vaguely he could hear his little brother crying, the tears running down his face in waves that matched the speed of his wails.<p>

Three months. He had three months before his life was over, before he wouldn't be walking. Before he couldn't be with his friends anymore, before he couldn't kiss his bo- _No.. Forget about him, Lovino._ He though miserably. _The bastard is dating Bella now. You know this. Don't be so hung over him. He broke up with you two months ago.. When you first got sick. _

The air was tight and thick with tension. Confusion. Sorrow. He could hardly breathe.

"Are you sure, doctor?" His grandfather, Giulio asked, his voice raw with emotion, gruff with the tears he refused to shed in front of his boys. Poor Feli, he had lost his parents already. Was he really going to lose his brother too?

The doctor nodded solemnly. "I'm afraid so. Three months. There's no treatment for it, and even if there was, the amount of chemotherapy, the cost…" The older man looked through his paperwork. double checking. "The leukaemia is starting to rapidly progress. We can try to slow it down using chemotherapy, but we can't promise anything would get better."

Lovino gulped. "Doc, I don't want it. My family may be rich, but I refuse to cost them on something that wouldn't work. I'm accepting my fate." He closed his eyes, blinking back the tears.

He had so much he had wanted to do. He was going to become a chef; he already had a few on standby. Francis… Francis was going to help him, if he could stop his womanising ways for more than ten minutes. And Toni- _No_.

There was nothing he could do. He just wanted to be alone. He didn't want to hear his brother crying, knowing he was what caused it. Again. He couldn't. Lovino wanted to stop choking on the tense air that followed his sentence. But there was no hope was there? He would die. And eventually people would forget him. That was alright. It was what he wanted.

"Lovino Romano Vargas, we're not going to let you do this." Giulio said. "You're not going to give up just like that. You are stronger than this."

"It's my choice, Grandpa, and you can't stop me." Lovino opened his hazel eyes to glare at the men before him. "I don't fucking care if I'm not old enough to make my decisions quite yet. Stay with Feliciano. He'll need you more than ever now. I want to finish my schooling. As much as possible. Feli, please bring my work to me? And turn it in for me? I'm sure someone here would help me. I want to graduate."

Feliciano nodded, wiping his tears. His brother was dying. His rock, his statue. He was going to die, and it wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. He felt as though time stood still, locking them in the moment of pain, but sped up at the same time. His time with Lovi was running out.

It was going to run out. Much faster than it should have.

Would he be there when Lovi took his final whispered breath?

The thought dizzied him. Everything was spinning; he couldn't make out what any of the shapes blurring and swimming before him was. He couldn't calm his heart. Feliciano felt it thudding against his chest, a stampede in the middle of the Savannah. Disturbing, loud, violent. A monster that would tear at him until he let it loose, and let himself panic.

He needed to sit down.

"Feliciano. I need you to listen to me." His brother was speaking, but it sounded echo-y. Far away. "You need to stay strong, okay? Take care of Grandpa, and make sure he doesn't get arrested for being the perverted bastard that he is. Take care of yourself. I'll be fine. I have three months. Ninety days, if you want to make it seem longer. I won't let this beat me before then. I promise, _fratello._" Feliciano nodded again, unable to speak.

He reached out and took Lovi's hand. It was pale, but that was to be expected. He hated it all. Everything. He would just have to keep a smile on his face. He had to prove to his brother that he was strong enough to take care of himself and their family. It was, to be exact, Lovi's dying wish. Feliciano hated himself for realising it. It just made everything seem true. It made the hope that this was all just a nightmare, a long never ending cruel nightmare, vanish.

Visiting hours ended, and they had to leave. Unfortunately, it was Sunday, so Feliciano couldn't visit him until after school. He hoped he'd be alright. That the illness that took his mother's life, wouldn't have another hit at his family. He swore he'd be back though. As soon as school ended.

Lovino watched the door shut, his brother's hollow eyes never leaving him. Slowly the tears started to fall. He was stuck in a hospital. Stuck. He was going to die there, and if he didn't he would die in his house. He'd rather die in the hospital. At least then his family wouldn't have the memories whenever they walked into the gloomy room.

"Damn it. What did I do to deserve this?" He whispered, curling under the blanket on the horrible bed. "Is it because I call everyone names? They know it's signs of affection that I'll never be able to say now… I'm not ready to die."

He closed his eyes, uncaring that it was barely past nine. He remembered when he first got sick. His muscles weakened, he hadn't been able to play soccer with Feliciano or the others without feeling out of breath. He could barely move on some days.

After he was taken to the hospital, and diagnosed, he stopped trying all together. What was the point in playing a game when it'd just be another reminder to those who cared about you that you were no longer there?

There was no point. Just like there was no point trying to find ways to beat a fatal disease. Maybe they'd find it for someone in the future, but not for him.

His breathing became shallow as he fell into a dark slumber.  
>-<p>

**End Author's Notes: So yes not that long. I'm hoping as I get into it and into writing again, chapters will grow but I think this is about 1200 words, so that's not too bad right? Since this is just the opening anyway..**  
><strong>Prussia will be introduced next chapter!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Please don't kill me! I'm actually very sick right now, have been for a while, and concentrating for long periods of time on anything is really, really difficult.**

**Italics: Memory  
><em>Bold Italics<em>: Memory thoughts **

**Onward.**

* * *

><p>Gilbert stopped in front of the door, his ruby eyes glistening with emotion he wasn't completely willing to show. Just behind that door was his father figure, the man who adopted him and his little brother when his parents died in a plane crash. The man who took care of him, fed him, hell, even punished him when he did stupid shit to be awesome.<p>

A bouquet of cornflowers was in his hand, being squeezed as the owner held back his sadness. The Old Man was proud of his German-Prussian heritage, and he had read somewhere that these flowers were the national representation. He was there to see everything, including the abolition of his home state. It only seemed right to see them before…

Shaking his head, he stepped in, eyes taking in the white walls and nose the ammonia that stated "Hospital". Gil looked at the unmoving bed, fearful of what he'd see. Luckily the heart monitor beeped rhythmically. He wasn't gone yet.

"Fritz…" he whispered as he moved forward, closing the door silently. He knew it was pointless—Fritz was unconscious after all—but he couldn't help wanting to be respectful. Gil took the old bouquet out of the vase and threw them away, replacing them with the new.

He turned to talk to the man. "Ludwig got in trouble today at school. It wasn't even my fault! He got frustrated with the other students and yelled at them. That boy can raise his voice pretty damn bad. Lud's a strong leader, just like you. I wish you could see how much he's grown up this past year."

Closing his eyes, he recalled the day he got the news. He was in school, goofing off with Francis when his little brother ran to him.

_Ludwig tripped over a stone but kept his balance. He ran to his brother, blue eyes wide with worry and hair tussled from the wind. "Brother! We need to go to the hospital!"_

_"What? Did you get injured?" Gilbert was on his feet in the blink of an eye. He ran his eyes over the body of his brother, and other than a small cut on his cheek from wrestling, he didn't seem to have any injuries._

_"No. Vater had a heart-attack at work." Gilbert froze. He stared and asked quietly for Ludwig to repeat that. When the same words slipped from the lips, he bolted to the car. He had just turned seventeen and had his license, and knew his way to the hospital. He waited for his brother to get into the car before speeding off, not even waiting for the boy to buckle his seatbelt. _

_When they reached the hospital, he jumped out of the car, locked it, and ran inside. He spoke hurriedly with the receptionist who told him he couldn't go in yet. Fritz was in an unstable condition, but Gil was free to wait._

_So he did. He waited for hours. People came in, people left. But he and his brother remained seated. They didn't dare even breathe loudly on the irrational chance they'd be breathing Fritz's last breath. According to what they were told, their adopted father collapsed while in a meeting. The others rushed him to the hospital and one called the school. They were unable to locate Gil—or just didn't care—so they made Ludwig fetch him._

_The only thoughts that ran through both brothers minds were **"I can't lose him." "Not another"**_ and _**"Why did this happen?"**_ _Neither knew what to do._

_It was almost near the end of visiting hours when a doctor came out and walked to them. "You are Gilbert Beilschmidt?" The pale boy stood up with a nod. "Mr. William* is in a stable condition now. The attack was caused by an arrhythmia."_

_"But he'll be okay?" Gilbert asked._

_The doctor frowned. "We don't know. He may not wake up."_

_Both boys' hearts sunk._

Shaking himself out of the memory, he grabbed the wrinkled, cool hand, holding it gently. "Please, Fritz. Wake up soon… The doctor told me yesterday that if you don't wake up soon, you won't… I can't lose you too. I can't. Ludwig can't." The slow breathing continued as he slept on. "Maybe you can hear me. I hope so. But Fritz… Vater… I miss you. Ludwig misses you. I'm trying to keep up but we both need you." A bitter tear left his eye and he quickly brushed it away before sighing and changing the conversation and talking about how he and Ludwig were doing. If Fritz could hear him, the boy figured he'd like to know about the sons he took care of for most of their lives.

* * *

><p>An hour and a half later, he stood up. "Sorry. Ludwig will be home soon, and while I know he can take care of himself, I'd rather him not fear the worst. I'll bring him along this weekend. He's got to focus on his studies. Until next time, Old Man!" He refused to say "Goodbye" in fear that it'd make Fritz leave.<p>

Walking quietly away, he peered through an open door where a boy about his age, maybe a bit younger, sat under the blanket. He was clearly a patient there but he looked absolutely miserable. Gil walked in without a second's hesitation.

"No family?" He asked uncouthly. The boy glared at him. "Alright then. What are you in for? Tonsillitis? Appendicitis? Gull bladder removal?"

"None of those you bastard. What are you doing here anyway? I don't know you."

Gil took a better look at the boy in front of him. He couldn't help it; he seemed familiar. Leaning closer, he examined while the other glared at him. "You're related to Feli!"

"How the fuck do you know my brother!"

Gil laughed at the protection laced within the words. "He's constantly hanging around my brother. I think he mentioned you. It was something like 'Luciano' or something." The boy grimaced. "Are you going to tell me?"

"Lovino. Now what are you—"

"Yeah, that's it!" Gilbert interrupted, ignoring the death glare. "You're the boy who Toni always talks about as well. Something about 'so cute~'. I don't see how. You seem kind of like a bitch." He watched the boy, Lovino, seethe. Oh this was fun. "Or rather like a cat that just got sprayed with water. Do you hiss?"

"What do you want?"

"I saw you here, miserable. Tell me why you're here and I'll leave for the night. I have to go watch Ludwig anyway."

"I'm not telling you anything. And tell your brother if he does anything with mine, I will rip his ball—"

Gilbert interrupted him again. "They already have, I assure you. But I'll take care of him while you're here. I know what it's like to have a little brother. Anyway, cheer up. Or try to. If it's tonsillitis you get ice cream!" He grinned and grabbed his bag again. "Good night, Lovino!"

He wasn't sure, but he could have sworn he heard a "Good night" before he closed the door behind him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I swear I'm ruining these characters usoigusdoiug But I'm trying not to make Lovino such an emotional bastard [even though who could blame him, seriously], and I'm trying to make Gil so annoying [but in my defense, it's to put on an 'I'm happy' vibe, one that Lovino will see past soon enough. Also this fic will only have passing mentions of GerIta. Its main focus is on PruMano, but I needed an excuse as to why Gil knew Lovino. Voilá.<strong>

*** According to Wikipedia, Fritz was born to Frederick William I, meaning his last name would be William as well since he's Frederick William II.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: You all deserve an explanation so... Here it goes. Remember how I was sick? It turns out that I had the potential to have this story kind of happen to me? Cancer scare. But now I'm a-okay! It wasn't cancer uwu ANDDDD I'm sitting next to my girlfriend :D So things are looking up.**

**Okay you've been waiting long enough for this. I literally just got inspiration though. At 10:40 pm. ANYWAY... Here's a reminder of what happened:**

_**Lovino has three months to live. He doesn't want chemotherapy because he doesn't want to be a burden, but he wants to finish High School so he's asked Feli to bring his school work. Gil was visiting his adopted father- Fritz- who had a heart-attack at work and may not wake up when he saw Lovino and they made "nice" conversation where Gil attempted to cheer Lovino, and himself, up by being the loveable loser we all know he is.**_

**Onward.**

The next day, Lovino was hunched over his textbook trying to figure out where the hell anything was. How could there be a real number, and why were numbers suddenly _complex_? Ugh, he absolutely despised Pre-Calculus. If he didn't need it, he wouldn't have taken it.

_You don't need it, you know. You're dying_. He shook his thoughts away, huffing. He didn't need to think about that. He just wanted to graduate and if it meant suffering through numbers and matrices- whatever that even meant- then he'd damn well suffer. He could hardly focus though.. He barely slept, despite the exhaustion that had been seeping through his veins the entire night.

Feli was sitting by him, watching with sad, deep brown eyes. He was a bit better at maths than his brother was but he knew if he offered anything, he'd be snapped at and told that Lovi could do it himself. But he just hated seeing his brother so stressed. It couldn't be good for him after all...

"Lovi-" He started.

"No." Lovino didn't even look up from the book, his pen scribbling the wrong answer away. Again. Why was this so hard for him?

"_Ma-_"

"No."

"But I can help!"

"_Fratello, per favore..._"

Feli went silent, turning back to his art assignment, his pencil slowly blending dark colours that reflected his mood. Everything was sombre, melancholy. He could only pray that by some miracle his brother would be healed. Why was there cancer? He didn't understand...

It stayed quiet after that, the only sound coming from the _scratch scratch_ of paper being written on and steady breathing coming from the brothers.

* * *

><p>Gil followed his brother into the room. He was too tired to do this today. He just wanted to go home, but he knew if he did, and Fritz died, he would never forgive himself. <em>Ludwig<em> would never forgive him.

"Hey, Fritz,"he whispered. "Ludwig is here today. I would have come earlier, but he wanted me to bring him too."

Ludwig's blue eyes looked on sadly. It was true that he wasn't nearly as close to the male lying on the bed in front of him as his brother was, but it hurt that he may lose another family member. He was hardly ready. He wasn't strong enough to take care of his brother. He could see how much Gil was breaking, how strong he was trying to be. He couldn't bring himself to talk though. So he just let his older brother tell Fritz about their day. Ludwig wasn't sure how Gil knew exactly how _his_ day went, but he didn't want to break the mood by asking.

"Oh!" Gil suddenly exclaimed. "Fritz, there's this kid here. I don't know why he's here, but if he follows you, will you take care of him? I feel like he'll need guidance in the afterlife. Though with his mouth, I doubt Lovino will be able to go to the same place you're going. He's not very pure..."

Ludwig's eyes widened. Lovino? As in Vargas? Feliciano's brother? How did-

"He has leukaemia." The words came out before Ludwig could push them away. He always was blunt, his words always had the cutting effect. He felt the air grow cold as he watched his brother take in the news.

"Then _ja_, Fritz. Take care of him, okay?" The white-haired brother stood up. Ludwig was relieved that, while he was pale, he didn't have the gene that caused Gil's pure white hair and bright crimson eyes. He often wondered how Gil took all of the teasing. He couldn't have missed the insults, "Freak" "Abomination" being thrown at him. "I promised that I'd go visit Lovi. Will you be okay here by yourself, Lud?" The boy's voice broke through Ludwig's thoughts. The blond nodded. "Great. I have my phone if there's a change."

With that Gil left, leaving Ludwig alone to his thoughts.

* * *

><p>"I need to go, Lovi." Feli's voice broke through the silence. "I have to finish this and study for my history final..."<p>

Lovi barely glanced up as he solved a problem. He had no idea how to tell if it was right, and with Feliciano leaving, there was no way he'd ever be able to know. Unless he called a nurse and asked her to check his homework. Is that abusing his patient status?

"Buonanotte," Feli whispered before pecking Lovi's cheek. He pointed at a problem, indicating that it was incorrect before walking out of the door with a tired smile. He didn't know if he'd be able to come tomorrow, but he'd sent Grandpa. There was no way he'd leave Lovi alone!

In his thoughts, he ran into someone. "_Mi dispia_- Ah Gil!" His eyes brightened at seeing his boyfriend's brother before dimming again. "How is Fritz?"

"The same as always," Gil informed him quietly. "Is your brother still awake? I saw him yesterday on my way out and I figured he needed company."

"Sí! He's working on his homework. You've graduated right? Can you help him? He isn't understanding and his... His wish is to graduate."

That surprised Gil. He figured the Italian was lazy and didn't care. "_Ja_, I'll help him. You stay safe on your way home." With that, Gil walked past the boy and slipped into the room.

He stood in the doorway, eyes fixated on the boy who was growing more and more frustrated. He knew he should step in but he couldn't help but watch. Why did Lovi care so much if he couldn't go onto university? Was he into torturing his mind that much? Was his work merely a distraction from the bigger picture?

Lovino slipped out a curse and laid back on his pillow, rubbing at his temples. He didn't understand _anything_. How was he supposed to graduate...? Would the hospital even let him leave to take his exams at the end of the year?

"Need help?" A voice jolted into his thoughts. He immediately recognised the voice and his hazel eyes shot a glare at the owner. "Hey! Your brother said-

"Unless you know what a derivative and an exponential is, you can leave." Lovi was in no mood to deal with the obnoxious German. It's not that he hated them; he just had a slight aversion to them. It was completely coincidental that it started when Feli started befriending the other one!

"A derivative is a measure of function changing when its input changes, and an exponential is the function e, where e is its own derivative," Gil recited to the brunette in front of him, walking over to see exactly what he was working on.

Lovi just stared at him. _What kind of language is he speaking_? _I'm fluent in Italian and English, and because of my stupid brother, I know German too. What is he even saying..._?

"Yeah, what?" He sputtered aloud. Gil laughed, and it caused Lovi's eye to twitch. How irritating.

"Here. The exponential is a function that quickly grows. It's where 'e' is an irrational number... I'm certain you were taught what functions were and already know what an irrational number is?" Lovino nodded his answer. It still sounded like gibberish to him, but at least it almost made sense. Gil continued. "Because the number is formulated as an infinite limit, in this problem right here, the exponential X is to the Nth power."

Lovino's head hurt. He wanted nothing more than to throw the book and forget about maths. "And what's a derivative?"

"A derivative is exactly as it sounds: a measure of how much a function changes when its input changes." Seeing the brunette's confused face, Gil tried a different tactic. "It's merely a way to display the rate of change, the amount by a function changes at one given point. It's the point on the slope of the graph where the tangent and function meet." He picked up a pencil and drew a crude graph to show the example with pictures. "Here is the point. To get the answer for the derivative, you simply write DY – the difference in Y—divided by DX—the difference in X—and then solve."

…. Oh.

Lovi felt stupid.

His head still hurt, but it was easing steadily. He went back and changed his answers, with much more understanding than he ever had before. It still took him a couple of hours, but he eventually got it, and forced his newfound personal tutor to check the work for him. He may be dying, but he still wanted to show he could do stuff.

As it turned out, he still got a couple of questions wrong, but he decided to leave it. If he started submitting completely correct assignments, his teachers would accuse him of having his brother do his work for him. It wouldn't be the first time.

He felt proud of himself, and he knew Gil was, though neither would acknowledge that fact out loud. No.

"Thank you," Lovino muttered setting his book aside. He still had an English assignment to work on, but that wasn't due the next day like his maths was. The brunette laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes.

"You're welcome." Gil stood up stretching. He wasn't sure how late it was, but he knew he shouldn't have left Ludwig alone so long. At least there wasn't a call... "I need to go. Do you want me to get you some food from the kitchen?" He left out the question of "Are you allowed to eat regular food?" He had some tact at least!

"Ah, no, thank you. There's nothing appetising in the cafeteria." Lovino knew exactly what Gil was doing, and he appreciated it. Sort of. He didn't want to be babied though.

Gil just shrugged before bidding him goodnight and leaving to go get his brother.

* * *

><p>Ludwig looked up at him, blue eyes dark with questioning. His older brother shook his head though and whispered goodnight to the <em>sleeping<em> man in front of him. They left hand in hand, a bit less melancholy before. Gil because he actually got the Italian to forget about his problems and do a good job, _without being a pain_, and Ludwig because he hadn't seen his brother quite so relaxed since before their parents' accident.

**AN: SOOOO. This is about all I can do right now, I'm so sorry. Things will speed up from now on. I'm not going to go every day in Lovi's life because wow that'd get boring. And of course, I'm no mathematician. I used so I don't know if **_**any**_** of that is explained very well.**

**Oh well.**

**I'll try to continue but my laptop decided it wanted to die on me while I was writing this so now I'm using Tay's. Buh.**

**Until next time.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hello! It's 5:11 and I can't really sleep so I've decided to write another chapter. Hopefully this whole thing will become finished really quickly. I actually have an outline. If it goes right, this story will end around the 16 chapter mark.**

**Onward**

* * *

><p>It's been exactly two weeks since Gil had helped Lovino with his maths homework. Two weeks and two days since he was told the terrifying news of him only having three more months. But that seemed like a lifetime ago. Seven years, eight months, three days since his parents died.<p>

Lovi shook his head, concentrating on eating the food in front of him. It was mushy and tasteless and it made his proper Italian taste buds weep in misery. He couldn't believe what he was being made to eat. It was horrifying! He needed the nutrients though and he knew it. No matter how much he detested the food, Lovi had to make sure he stayed healthy enough to live the few months that were being gifted to him.

The brunette looked over at the clock. Just after two. He wasn't sure what time Gil would be there—n-not that he was waiting for him or anything—but it made him feel antsy. Lovi decided to finish the last of an assignment for Health he decided to put off till last minute. It was honestly cruel that he had to take the course considering what he was going through, but when he was signing up for senior year curriculum, he didn't think he'd be going through it. Then again, he doubted the school would even care. It was a compulsory course. Like most things, Lovi didn't get a choice.

"'Write a ten page paper on how you can change your lifestyle to become a healthier and happier person. Examples may include changing your eating habits and exercising more.' What? Can I write '_Not get cancer_'?" Lovi stared at the paper. He wondered how poor his grade would be if he just didn't write the paper. His more rational thought was _Can I get a different assignment_? He didn't want to be coddled, no, but this was near painful.

He took out his notebook and started writing anyway, his thoughts being overtaken by clichéd "I can eat breakfast and go for a jog every morning" type answers, words flowing easily. He barely heard the door open and hardly acknowledged his brother setting more books and missed papers on the table next to his bed before setting himself down in the chair next to the window. His favourite spot.

* * *

><p>Gil lifted his head from his arms. He listened to Ludwig tell Fritz about how he managed to take someone out on the wrestling team, despite being much smaller in size. He was proud of his baby brother, though he supposed he shouldn't say baby any longer. At sixteen, Ludwig stood taller than him by nearly a foot and outweighed him by at least fifty pounds, though Gil was sure that it was all muscle. Gil was just tiny, something about him having the weird genetic disorder affecting his stature or some shit. He didn't pay much attention.<p>

He probably should have.

Gil looked around the room, trying to find something to fill the silence other than the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor. He was antsy for some reason. He didn't know what, but he didn't like the feeling at all. It felt as though someone was watching him, and in his nineteen years, he only felt that twice before: when his parents died, and when he rushed toward the room he was currently in two years prior. He hated the feeling.

"Ludwig, I'm going to get some water…" He mumbled an excuse to get out of the room. He knew it didn't make sense; Gil hardly drank water. He hated the metallic taste. But he wanted out. He had overheard the nurses talking with the doctors when he walked in. Fritz was worsening, and there was no longer anything he could do about it.

"_Doctor Jones? Frederick William's chances of recovering from the coma are slimming down to less than ten percent. Should we cut his supplies off?" a pretty blonde nurse asked. Gil couldn't remember her name. Something similar to Natalie? It didn't matter._

"_If there is no change within the next week, we will. You know how miracles happen, Natalya." Ah, that was it. The doctor continued, his face solemn. "Besides, the kid that keeps coming back deserves a chance to at least say goodbye if there is truly nothing we can do."_

He tried to breathe the second he got out of the room but choked. It was suffocating. He was suffocating. Being in the hospital was too much; he had to get out. Get out for a long while. He couldn't fake that he was strong enough to deal with another person dying, strong enough to take care of the brother who wouldn't be old enough to raise himself for a couple of years. Gil didn't even take care of himself that well; how was he supposed to feed Ludwig and keep a house over them? The old man was pretty well off, but even Gil wasn't blind to know that there were family members that would fight him hard to get the money and home away from him. He wasn't sure if he was willing to put up much of a fight for a house that filled him with memories of someone who may not even be there much longer.

He shook his thoughts clear. He couldn't give up now. Gil had to stay moving, no matter how hard it was. He had to keep his promise to his parents that he would take care of Ludwig. He wondered idly how the blond would react if he knew of that promise. The younger would probably scold him, assisting that he could take care of himself. He would repeatedly remind Gil that he was unable to cook more than sausage and would end up starving if it wasn't for Ludwig being around. It was true though.

A small smile crept at the side of his lips, calming him.

* * *

><p>"<em>Fratello<em>?"

"What is it, Feli?" Lovino looked up from his book. He had lost focus on his assignment and decided to read one of the many books that were "donated" to him in sympathy and pity.

"I won't be able to come visit for the next couple of days," Feli said lowly. He looked away, feeling slightly guilty. "I… My grades slipped a bit and _Nonno_ wants me to focus on my courses a little bit more. Even art has slipped…"

"_Nonno_ is right. You should pay more attention to your studies. I'll still be here when your marks are back up, _prometto_." It stung a bit, but Lovi knew Feli would stay with him if he had the option. He'd ask Giulio if Feli could perhaps study with him a bit, like he was before.

The innocent Italian smiled sadly at him. "I hope so, Lo." He hadn't used the nickname in years, but it felt right this time.

Truth be told, he needed to spend more time with his boyfriend. Because of how long he'd been helping to keep Lovi calm and happy, Feli barely had time to even say hello to Ludwig, even in school. He didn't like the thought, and feared that if he stayed away too long, the other would move on without him. Sure he knew about Fritz, but he also knew that Ludwig didn't really see him as more than an authority figure. Hardly a father.

He pecked Lovi's cheek and went back to reading, his eyes dimming from the onslaught of emotions. He kept wondering if he was doing the right thing, but deep down he knew he was. Lovi wouldn't be there for him all the time now. He had to make sure someone was still there with him, keeping him strong and balanced, even if that meant not being with Lovi while his last days drew ever closer.

* * *

><p>Gil stepped into Lovino's room, knocking gently. The Italian's eyes were closed, a book lying open in front of him. He seemed peaceful, serene. It seemed to Gil that nothing would be able to hurt him. Nothing on the outside, anyway.<p>

He moved to the bed, listening to the steady breathing. He knew it was creepy, but Gil couldn't look away. He couldn't avert his eyes. It was calming, knowing that a person in front of him actually had the chance to wake up.

Lovi stirred slightly, a small noise of discomfort escaping his lips. Drowsy hazel orbs opened slowly, dark lashes fluttering against cheeks that wouldn't be nearly that pallor on someone healthy. He looked around the room before taking in the sight of Gil. "Morning…"

"It's nearly seven, you shit-stick," Gil replied quietly. He grinned at the scowl that was placed on the other's face. "How are you feeling?"

"My body is heavy…"

"That's expected." The albino sighed, knowing that he'd have to return to see Fritz soon. Don't get him wrong; he _wanted_ to. He just didn't want to see his father so unresponsive. He hated being so useless, so unnecessarily in the way.

What could he do to save both men?

"Are you okay?" Lovino's voice echoed in his ears. Gil frowned. Was he?

"_Ja_, don't worry so much."

The answer didn't appease Lovino's fears at all. Something was wrong. The other wasn't smiling nearly as much as normal. He almost missed it. Almost.

"How is your father?" he whispered, keeping his voice low to not startle Gil with the question. He had learnt about Gil's past during breaks in their tutoring sessions. It seemed that he and the man were close, closer than any adoptive families he had ever heard of being.

"He's the same," was the gruff reply. The emotion in Gil's voice was tight. Lovi felt guilty instantly. The other probably wanted to visit him to keep his thoughts off the other and the brunette managed to screw it up.

It's like that's all he knew how to do anymore.

He wanted to die faster, wanted to stop burdening those who remained in his life.

As a last resort to change the subject, Lovi asked about Gil's graduation and they started talking about the ruby-eyed boy's dreams. It turned out that Gil wanted to go to university, but he was unable to attend at the moment due to not being able to leave Ludwig. Lovi learned that Gil wanted to become an archaeologist, wanted to dig up remainders of the old State of Prussia and its past. He wanted to find the truth behind the militarist country. Lovi was in awe. If there was one thing Gil was passionate about, it was Prussia, a country that most people, at least the newer generation, probably didn't even know existed, and the ones that did, would die away soon.

Gil kept rambling about the dissolved nation, but Lovi didn't really pay attention. He focused more on the excitement rather than what was being said. It made him happy, knowing that his… friend? _Was Gil a friend?..._ had something to keep him going in life.

"Hey, I need to get back."

Wait, already? It was only… Nine. When did visiting hours end? Lovi couldn't remember.

"Okay. I have a maths assignment again due in a couple of days so…"

"Lo, you don't need to use homework as an excuse to visit." How did Gil know the nickname? Damn you, Feliciano! Annoying fuck probably mentioned it around Ludwig. Ugh. He could feel his face burning slightly. No one but family ever called him that. It had sentimental. Lovino brought himself back when he heard Gil clear his throat to continue. "I'll always come to annoy you. That's a promise. It seems you need more of them in your life."

Lovino was going to kill his loudmouth brother.

"Goodnight, Lovino!"

With that the boy left, presumably to find his brother and take him home. The smile that ghosted Lovino's lips were, unknown to him, mirrored on Gil's own.

Maybe they had reached happiness with each other that they both previously thought was impossible in their situations.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Chapter 4 is now complete. I keep going back and changing some stuff in the outline so it's already not following my guidelines, but it should still be around 16 chapters, no more than 20.<strong>

**I can honestly say "thank you Zoe!" for helping me with some facts about the disease. I did it report in middle-school health class on leukemia but it seems that I've forgotten the majority of the facts. Hopefully I don't insult anyone accidentally;;;**

**Translations:**

**Nonno – Grandpa**

**Per favore – Please**

**Fratello - Brother**

**Prometto - Promise**


	5. AN

Hey!

I'm just letting you know that I have no plans of discontinuing this story.

However, after re-reading it, it came to my attention that I didn't do nearly enough research as I had originally planned when I first started it. So I'm going to research a lot more about leukemia and re-write it.

I promise that unlike most of my stories I'm not going to give up on this one. I already have the story planned out completely, I just need to make it more realistic, and that's where research is coming into play.

So please don't give up. I'm currently getting ready to move and as such, will most likely not have the internet for a while so I'll be researching through my phone and using the time available to write. I may also see if I can send it through QQ and my friend can upload the chapters for me, if the time frame is that long.

Hopefully it won't be.

I sincerely hope you understand that I do have things planned.


End file.
